Little Drabbles about Wash and Zoë’s relationship
“Are you sure that’s safe?” Wash asks.
The five-headed crew is collected around the table in the kitchen, meeting to discuss the job at hand.
“I mean, we’ve done crazy stunts before, and she’s a giving ship, but turning one hundred eighty degrees mid-flight might blow something,” Wash continues.
“You said it’s possible,” Mal returns.
“Well, yeah, but….”
“Is it or is it not possible?” Zoë interrupts Wash.
“What are you lookin’ at me for?” he points towards Kaylee.
“Kaylee?” Mal asks, turning to the young mechanic.
“Gee, Cap, I don’t know. It’d be a mighty crazy thing to try.”
“So you’re suggesting not to?” Zoë says.
“If we tried it, and the Catalyser busts, we’d drop like stone,” Kaylee replies.
“Alright, anyone got any other options?” Mal asks.
“I could try a dive, get under them, she’s smaller than Chekhov’s ship. Might give us an opening to turn more gently,” Wash suggests.
“You want to take Serenity under a ship, with a central aerial booster? She’d get sucked right into the turbine,” Zoë returns annoyed.
“Only if I get too close,” Wash answers.
“You’d risk all our lives?”
“It’s not like the one-eighty wouldn’t risk our lives,” Wash replies defensively.
“I ain’t out here tryin’ to get myself killed,” Zoë’s voice grows louder.
“You think I’m tryin’ to get us killed? Fine then, I don’t see you makin’ any other suggestions,” Wash retorts.
Zoë is just about to rise out of her chair with a response when Mal interrupts, “Settle down, settle down. This constant bickerin’ between you two is drivin’ me nuts.”
“Sorry, sir,” Zoë says through clenched teeth, eyes fixed on Wash.
“I hate to interrupt the fun, but headin’ down into them canyons here, could get us some place they can’t follow,” Jayne points at the map on the table.
Mal looks from Jayne to Zoë, back to Jayne.
“Look at that,” Mal says, “That ain’t half stupid.”
“I don’t always got stupid ideas,” Jayne crosses his arms, pouting a little.
“It’d be easiest on her engine, wouldn’t risk anything gettin’ broke,” Kaylee says, smiling towards Jayne, whose forehead eases a bit.
“Alright, it’s settled then,” Mal slaps his hand on the table.
Wash is the first to rise out of his chair, but Mal holds him back.
“Hold on a second there, Wash. You too, Zoë. The rest o’ you get elsewhere.”
“Sir?” Zoë asks, a little impatient, throwing an annoyed glance towards the pilot.
“Look, I don’t know what problems you two got, and I don’t much care. But I can’t have you two bickerin’ and fightin’ all the time. So whatever it is, settle it.”
“I have no problem, Cap’n, but I’m tired of the constant questioning,” Wash says.
Zoë just sighs, “Honestly, sir, the moustache,” she replies, “I can’t look at it a minute longer.”
Wash’s hand juts to his upper lip, protectively coming over his moustache.
“The ‘stache?” Mal asks.
“It bugs me,” Zoë answers.
Mal shakes his head once, “It don’t make a difference to me, but it’d be a kindness if you two could settle it. Now.”
“How?” Wash asks.
“Have a shootin’ match for all I care, just settle it.” With those words Mal exits the kitchen, leaving the two to sit brooding.
“You ever even shot a gun?” Zoë asks after a while.
“Might’ve fired a few rounds back home.”
“So you like the idea of target shooting?”
Wash shrugs, “Good as anything.”
“Fine, I win and you shave that awful thing off your face.”
“Alright, but if I win, you go on a date with me.”
“Excuse me?” Zoë asks half dumbfounded, half offended.
“Some place with real food and there has to be conversation.”
Zoë thinks about it for a moment, “Okay, deal,” she eventually says.
“Deal,” Wash nods once, and gets up, “I best be getting back to the bridge.”